Elf Stones

Saturday, May 4, 2019 4 Comments


I woke up this morning with what may be a complete understanding of elves.

It's Their Infravision




When I was a kid, I always wanted to play an elf in D&D, specifically because I'd have infravision and could "see in the dark". Getting older I moved away from that because it felt lame, but then the other day I saw this gif and it hit me that elves usually appear so aloof and borderline disgusted with the world because they are visually accosted with actual out gassings of everything in the world.

Yes non-elves, their smile does look pained because every single one of your farts is an assault on their eyes.

Naturally, it would follow that elves themselves wouldn't fart, or burp, sneeze etc. But their bodies would have to do something with that stuff, and as elves are normally depicted as being somewhat "pinched" anyway, it seems likely that their body would compress the disgusting stuff into a sort of pearl, or stone, or "pill".

These elf stones would naturally be terribly pungent in their aroma, and in civilized circles they would be discreetly disposed of. But outdoor types, such as hunters and rangers, would likely value them highly and probably carry around a small pouch of the things. They could wet them, and flick them onto targets they to help track their quarry.

Would likely prized by more traditionally disgusting races such as goblins.



Elf Stones:
All elves produce d4 "elf stones" each week. The stones are about the size of a pinky fingernail, and appear to have a hard opalescent casing that subtly flashes purple and green in the right light. If soaked in water, the casing will begin to disintegrate and the stone will become incredibly sticky and rapidly adhere to flesh and hair. Elf stones without a casing have an incredibly pungent, cloying, aroma that some compare to the smell of rotting roses. A stone that has lost its casing will stink strongly for 72 hours, and even if the stone is found and removed, the smell will linger for d6 hours.

Elven Rangers and outdoors types, will traditionally wet the stones by sucking on them for a short time, and they can flick them onto any target within 50' with surprising accuracy (+5 to hit). They deftly manipulate the wet stones with their fingernails and (to non-elves) never seem to get the smell on their person.

During periods of high stress or poor diet, elves can produce up to d10 stones per week. Half Elves have a 50% chance of producing elf stones in lieu of other forms of excrement.

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